Thursday, December 30, 2010
This is Cliff. He will be 1 at the end of March. He lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe, and he is one of the cutest little baby's that I have ever seen.
He IS cleared for international adoption, so anyone who is looking at this super sweet little face, wondering if he may be your son....that is a real possibility!
Seriously! No, really seriously! I don't think that people are really understanding that they really could adopt this little treasure and make him their son, because if they did, someone would surly have committed to him already, wouldn't they have?
Yes, it is true. There are many children on the RR web site that I wish I could bring home, this little guy included. For the life of me, I just don't understand how his family has not found him yet.
For the holiday season RR has a fundraising event called Angel Tree. Cliff's little face has been out there everywhere, and people must be falling in love with him, because they have donated over $8 000 this month to help his family bring him home. Yep, that's right. More then $8 000 in his grant fund:) So where is his Mummy & Daddy?
How I wish we could bring him home when we travel to meet Miss K, but Ontario will certainly not allow us to adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time, and we are only approved for one child, and it is not likely that we would be approved for more, as that is not easily done here.
I seriously hope that he is not still waiting for his family to find him come his first birthday. If you are interested in possibly adopting him, or helping to find his family please email me here.
Last year we were not really "feeling" it. We were disappointed that we had not been able to move to the new house yet. All of our decorations were in storage (with more then half of the house while we had it listed for sale), and we were still feeling dazed from the loss of our daughter. Then our little one and I spent Christmas Eve with a stomach flu. It was a relief when the 2009 holiday season was over.
This year has been a little different. We are in our new house. Our little one is certainly old enough to fully understand what is going on and is super excited about it. It has been hard, really missing Destiny, knowing that she had never been HERE, and having no where in the house to go to feel that connection with her. Missing our foster son, having never gotten to really say good bye (he passed away in February 2009). Sad that we are not and have not been to EE to bring Miss K home. So many little ones missing from our home, our lives this year. It was also a little stressful as we didn't have money for Christmas this year, as all of our extra money and available credit has been going towards bringing Miss K home. In the end my loving hubby was NOT okay with not giving gifts to our nieces and nephews and so took another side job in order to have a little bit of money so we could get gift for them. We did make it through Christmas this year, our first year in our new house. We hosted both of our families, mine for Christmas dinner, and his for brunch on Monday. The food turned out well, and everyone seemed to have a good time. The children loved going down the hill on the sleds. We lite a candle Christmas morning for Destiny and let it burn through the entire day. I gave each of the children a special "nick nack" that had been Destiny's, from Destiny. Something that they could hold on to and remember her with. We made many happy, wonderful memories this year, and the tears were kept to a minimum.
We quickly learnt on Tuesday that our century old well is not made to entertain in this way, as it was dry. Our water pump finally died too. It made for more memories, and a lesson learned. Everything was better today, after Mike replaced the pump, thank goodness. We were very gentle on the water use, and hope that it will have completely fixed itself by tomorrow. We are very grateful to everyone who gave us cash for Christmas, as it has allowed us to deal with this issue with out stress or worry.
Then, this evening, I checked my email and I saw that I had one waiting to be read (well, actually I had over 180 waiting to be read, but there was one that stood out), and it was from the email address I had been waiting to get an email from, it was from our agency. Very simple it said that our Dossier had been put in the mail today and was on it's was to Miss K's country!!!!! I don't think I could have been more excited and happy:) It truly was the best gift this year. A close second was that someone donated to the quilt draw:) Thank you!!!!!
Hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas for 2010 :-)
Monday, December 13, 2010
Keep smiling sweet little girl. Your family in coming for you!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Julia and her wonderful husband Rob were in Miss K's country earlier this year adopting their beautiful new son Aaron. If you have a minute or a couple of hours you really should read through their blog. They have truly opened their hearts to share what they have seen and experienced while they were there. PLEASE do not let their story frighten you, instead let it fill you and inspire you. They are excellent writers, and their storey needs to be shared. You will also learn why my "crazy" fear of our little girl being transferred are consuming one corner of my mind, and what it could actually and honestly mean if it does happen.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
In Canada we have 1 single grant program for international adoptions. Orphans Hope. They will draw 4 or 5 names sometime in December or January out of the more then 40 families that have current applications. We are one of those families, waiting and hoping. WE REALLY NEED THIS GRANT, and it would make all of the difference in our fiances for this journey to bring Kameron home.
So I am here, cozy in my cyber space home, ask you, who ever you may be, to please keep us in your thoughts. Although this grant will not answer all of needs, it will cover half or more of what we still need. Please send your positive loving energy towards us, surround us, help us to be one of the blessed families to receive this amazing gift.
Blessing and thanks to all
I have so much to say, so many thoughts, on so many subjects. I sit to write on this blog almost every night, but then am unable to assemble my thoughts into anything coherent and give up. Or, I just start crying. What a process this adoption has been. What a world to live in where your eyes and heart are open to all of the realities that you already knew existed in this world. If you know me, you already know what an emotional wreak I can quickly and easily become. How I become emotionally involved in peoples lives who I barely know, never mind my friends and family. How I form relationships in my heart with not only characters in movies, TV shows, and books, but commercials and single page ads. Now imagine my heart after reading all profiles on waiting children all over the world, profiles of parents on their adoption journeys, accounts of what they have encountered and seen while visiting with their children at in their country of birth. Not even just that, but about what happens to children right here in homes in North America.
Then on the flip side seeing photos, videos, reading wonderful and amazing stories about these little angels who were written off before their new Mommy's and Daddy's came to bring them home. Some of these children, 4 years old in baby carriers because they are so tiny. Learning to swallow, eat, sit, roll, stand, and more. Children finally being given a chance to be able to feed themselves, to eat at their own pace, and to learn what a full tummy feels like. The happiness, joy, pride, hope, excitement...all lead me to tears.
The little ones who have so many issues, and are so involved that they remind me of Destiny, and or our little man. Then I start missing my sweet angels, and remember just how empty my arms are without them.
And then our little Kameron. A beautiful girl who EVERY describes as always happy, who deserves so much more then she has had in this life. In the last year she has sat and watched at least 2 of the little girls in her groupa, her friends, her sisters, have families come and visit with them daily. Families who bring gifts, and snacks, and spend time with hugs and kisses and undivided attention, for weeks. And then her friends left, went with their new families to live their new lives, and she was left behind. Of course I know that this has happened because she is our daughter and she is waiting for us to go and get her. She is waiting for it to be her turn to have a family come and visit with her everyday for weeks and then take her home. I also know that everything happen just as it is meant to, so I don't need to be told or reminded. None of this helps when I think about how she just spent her 6th birthday still technically an orphan. How she will be spending her 7th Christmas without knowing a family Christmas celebration. She should have been home with us already. She should be learning what the "Buster Brown Pie" is. She should be waking up with her little sister in the morning and coming to snuggle with us in bed. I should be hanging her stocking with the rest of them, waiting for Santa to come and fill it up. And these are the thoughts that I am thinking on top of the other regular thoughts of, how are we going to communicate with her, how are we going to teach her English, will she like the cats, will she get along well with her sister, will her little sister play nice with her, and a new one of will we be home before her new cousin is born or not. And then there is the other side of the worry spectrum. Will she be able to stay at the baby house until we arrive, will she still be a happy child by the time we get there or has she been forced to wait for to long, will she forgive us for taking so long to get to her, will she be happy that we have come to make her a part of our family, will we get enough information about her to help us when we get home in regards to her medical needs, will we have any issues finding all of the supports that we may need for her when we get home, court - I'm always worried about court for some reason. And then there is the area that I try to stop my mind from wondering into, the whole what if she is transferred section. Will she go to a children's house or to an institution? How would she make out there, as one of the smallest, and a child who is already behind in some if not all aspect of her development, will someone take care of her, will someone love her, will someone protect her, what about when that someone isn't looking or isn't working? Will she fall prey to bully kids or horrid adults?
Not being with her breaks my heart. I always wondered how people could stand to adopt from Haiti. Being given a referral, knowing who your child is, being able to receive updates, but having to wait for months and years to be able to bring them home. It seemed to me that the knowing and waiting would make the process feel as if it was taking a thousand times longer then it was (although we are talking about Haiti here, so it may have actually been taking that long). Silly me always thought that going to an Eastern European country would save us from that torture, I guess that joke is on me. I flip through all of the photos that I have been blessed with and my heart swells as I dream or the day that we will finally meet, of the judge saying that we are her parents, of walking away on Gotcha Day together hand in hand to our new life together, of boarding a plane with her to bring her home, of meeting up with whoever is at the airport after our long absence from home, of walking into our home - her new and forever home for the first time, showing her her new own room - and the extra bed in her sister's room should she like to sleep there instead. Dreaming of what it will be like to have her understand that we are there for HER, of her little arms wrapped around my neck in a big hug, or what her voice will sound like, of her calling me Momma and one day having meaning behind that title, of seeing her understand that we are her forever family - no matter what, seeing her light up at the holidays as she learns our family's traditions and how much fun they can be.
It is about 2:30 in the morning right now. It would be about 9:30 am where Miss K is right now, really that's just a random thought. When ever I really look to see what time it is, I count to see what time it is where she is. Our little girl is always asking what her sister is doing through out the day, when we are going to go and get her, if she will be allowed to play too, why her sister is not home yet. Back to the original thought though, the current time. There has been a lot of talk lately about knowing what we know about the "injustice" in the world, but being able to sleep easy at night. I don't sleep easy. Perhaps it is the sheer volume of thoughts going through my head, or the subject of much of it I'm not really sure, but I don't sleep easy. I'm up until I can't stay awake any longer, then I go to bed - generally because I know that without any sleep I will be no good at being a Mom to my treasure the next day - falling asleep instantly, without dreams or with crazy wild dreams about what I have seen, what I know, what I dream about doing about all of this. Some times my dreams are much more exhausting then my time awake.
I think it is time now to wrap this post up. Before it gets any longer or takes a turn to one of the other, many thoughts running through my brain. I have NOT reread this, nor do I reread any of my post before I publish them (see, now you're all saying "aha!, I get it now"), so I do hope that I was able to let you into this one small section of my self, the part that revolves around our new daughter and other children in similar situations as she is right now. This is in NO way all of my thoughts about any of this, but it is my attempt at being honest and staying on one subject.
Blessings to all, you may need it if you just read through all of my ramblings;)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You can find it here http://theadoptionshop.blogspot.com/. I will list all of the different ways that someone can help us to bring our beautiful little girl home. For now this website is for our adoption of Miss K, but once she is home The Adoption Shop will stay open to help raise money to assist more children to find their forever families, as well as to assist us in future adoptions. I am hoping that I will have a cute little blog/shop going soon, full of give aways and one of a kind creations.
Currently we have 4 different ways that people can assist us in raising the funds still needed to bring Miss K home,
- Autumn's generous quilt give away
- Mary Kay Cosmetics - 50% of EVERYTHING purchased goes to our adoption fund
- I have 49 referrals for people to open ING direct savings account, each account opened gets us $25 plus bonuses depending on how many people open accounts (plus if you open an account with $100 or more, you get a $25 bonus as well)
- Affiliate program with the on line used book buyer that Julia wrote about on her blog recently.
The blog is a work in progress, and I will be cleaning it up over the next couple of days. I will also be adding some one of a kind creations. I have a family friend who has made some Christmas ornaments for me to sell, I am working on a couple of little craft decorative items, and I will be offering custom book marks as well. Really the hold up on these items is getting the pictures up, but they will be there soon.
If anyone would like to add our blog address to any of the list of places to shop PLEASE DO :-)
Thanks for taking a look, and letting me know what you think.
This is Sandra. She was born in 2006. I think that she is beautiful:)
She is available for adoption, and is healthy.
This is Sam, he was born in November 2009. He is such a sweetheart, and he JUST turned 1. He is healthy too:)
This is Blake. He was also born in November 2009, just a week or so older then Sam. He is healthy as well.
Won't Sam & Blake be adorable "twins"?
And this adorable little angel is Cliff. He was born in March 2010. He isn't even a year old yet!! He has stolen my heart, and I think of him often, so I wasn't surprised to find him in one of my dreams. He too is healthy and growing well.
All of these little ones are listed on RR, and they all have money in their grant funds to help their families get them home. If you are interested in adopting them or finding out more info, please go to the RR web site.
Now, on to the dream,
Last night I had a dream. The strange thing about this dream was the way it just kept going. I had a pretty restless sleep last night, lots of tiny waking up, stretching, rolling over, and falling back to sleep. And these little cuties continued in the dream for most of the night. I missed the whole trip to their country to adopt them, as the dream started as my little sister and I were getting off of the plane with them in Toronto where our husbands and children were waiting for us (including my lovely Miss K). Yep, you read that right. In my dream we had adopted all 4 of these little angels and my wonderful little sister came to help me bring them home while Mike was home with our GIRLS waiting for us to join them. Lucky for me it was a dream, and all of the children transitioned beautifully to our family and our home. We moved all of the girls into our bedroom, all of the boys into our 4 yr old daughter's room, and we moved into the office, and Miss K's room became the toy room. That all worked out perfectly as well. So, what a sweet dream. Of course living in Ontario, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that we would be allowed to bring all of these little ones home together, if at all. Sandra was born the same year as our daughter, which is a HUGE no no. The adoption of unrelated children at the same time is a HUGE no no. And adopting more then one child at a time internationally would be VERY difficult it possible.
All of that said there is something that really upsets me, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one or not. I understand the importance of blood relations, even when you have never meet the person you are related to. I really wonder how you can take a child from their orphanage, which has been their home, away from the other children in their groupa, who have been their siblings, and tell them that these strange people are now their parents, their family, and it is supposed to mean something. While at the same time saying that the children in their groupa - the ones they have grown up with, in some cases closer then siblings growing up in the same home with the same parents - are NOT their siblings and therefore can not be adopted together. How can you say that a NON blood relationship with their adoptive parents is important and makes them family, while at the same time saying that the children they do EVERYTHING with, who they are bonded to and love is not important because it is a NON blood relationship. Then to make it worse some of these kids have blood related siblings living elsewhere in their country, and the children do not even know about each other, have never met, and all of a sudden a child can NOT be adopted without their siblings. Of course there is small print to this, and sometimes they are able to legally separate siblings allowing each child a chance at a family of their own.
I don't want anyone to think that I am downplaying the importance of sibling and keeping them together. I do think that this is VERY IMPORTANT. What I am saying is that the relationship between the children in the groupa's should NOT be downplayed just because they are not blood related. We are talking about adoption here. Creating families through love, and not blood. I don't understand how you can be pro adoptive, and give so little thought/credit/belief in the relationship between two unrelated children who are growing up together as siblings because they do not call the same people "Mummy and Daddy", yet. Please tell me if I'm wrong, because I really wish I could understand this.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Who won't love to bring one of these children in to their lives, their homes, their families?
Born, April 12, 2004
Born, August 2005
Born, May 2006
Born, May 29, 2007
Born, April 14, 2008
Born, November 2009
All of these lovey have a couple things in common.
- They all are available for international adoption.
- They are all very unlikely to be adopted by families in their own country.
- They are all living in orphanages.
- They all need families of their own.
- And they are all HIV+.
Yep, you read that right. They all are living with HIV. Oh, so you think you know what that means? Please, take a couple of seconds and ask yourself if you REALLY DO know what that means or not. Still think you know? Take a look at this video, it's short - less then 4 minutes of your time. Watch and then think about if you REALLY know what living with HIV means.
For more information about adopting a child with HIV into your family you can contact
Where you are considering adopting a child with HIV or not, please do take the time to learn the facts about HIV, teach your children about the truth of HIV. Like the video says, we are no longer living in the 80's.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
It measures 6’ 11’’ by 5’ 9” and its beautiful!
Just make a donation of $5 or more! Click on the Chip-in button above or email me for my address. We will use random.org to draw the winner on January 15, 2011.
The draw date is future away to give everyone enough time to get through the holidays.
Thank you to you all for your continued support!
A portion of all proceeded collected will go to the Older Boys with DS grant at RR in hope of helping to bring Brady & Heath home.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
If you would like your button put on here, please let me know. It will save me having to look for some and then having to "pick" who to sponsor.
Many Blessings to all of our RR families :-)
Monday, November 22, 2010
I read something today that I want to share with you, and I will after I've had my say first. Please remember that I did not write it, and in a black and white world it is not my belief.
But first, more of my ramblings. The first time that I talked to the doctors about Destiny after she was born they were listing off everything that was "wrong" with her, with quick, ridiculously simplified ways that we would have to deal with them. They finally got to the bottom of their list where extra digits were listed, polydactylies. She was born with an extra baby finger on both hands, that were attached to her fist baby finger by greatly varying degrees. As well as an extra baby toe on her right foot, attached to the other baby toe. In the same breath that they mentioned them they included "..but you'll just get them removed right? No big deal." We agreed while we stood there a little overwhelmed by everything that we had just been told, trying to figure it out, and me SUPER anxious to finally meet and hold my baby. Just seconds later with my baby finally in my arms, I had forgotten most of what they had said, there she was, my perfect angel despite all of her "deformities" and other things that were "wrong" with her. When ever someone would ask us about things that the doctors had told us about, we found ourselves giving the same speech that doctors had said to us. Once we thought about that, it didn't really fit with what we saw in our little girl, what she was or wasn't capable of, or what we wanted for her life. Like unnecessary surgery not being a big deal. Surgery is ALWAYS a big deal! Sometimes it IS needed, and at those times we dismiss the possible negatives and side effects, but if it is NOT needed don't you think that you should put a lot more thought into finding out if it is the right thing to do or not?
My main point is that the medical professions is in a habit of presenting situations to the patients in a fear tactic way in order to get the compliance to do what the individual thinks is the right thing to do. This is not giving you the best health care options, although I completely believe that the individual you are dealing with thinks that it is. Doctors should only be able to give you scientific facts, a clear examples, free from their opinions, so that you can make the right choice for you. The problem with medical facts (and this is so important so please read these statement over a second, third, or more time and remember it) is that if people do not agree to allow their doctors to include their information in the medical research, then other doctors do not know what has worked, not worked, etc for other people. Also if you have something happen that is very different then your info may not be included in the research because it is only one person and it is throwing the research off so much. Destiny had Cobblestone Lissencephaly. I know that she had this because Cobblestone Lissencephaly means that your brain has a cobble stoned appearance to it with areas that are completely smooth. This is something that you have or you don't have. She was not able to have this official diagnosis because to have cobblestone lissencephaly you need to have some sort of eye disease and/or muscular dystrophy. She did not have either of these things, as well as a few other things that went against the norm for for Liss. Also we were told that a child with Liss had NEVER lived past the age of 9 yrs old. Although Destiny did not make it to her 9th birthday there are MANY children all over the world with Liss who are MUCH older then 9. Unless you get included in research, others don't know about what is happening to you.
If you are EVER told that you, your child, or your unborn fetus has some sort of health issue, PLEASE get on the internet and look for other people living with these issues. They are the BEST resource to what it is like to live through this, how to live through this, what to expect, etc. You will learn things that you never knew. Like just how hard it actually is to contact the HIV virus, how children with Down Syndrome can grow up to live independent lives, and just how many people out there are living with Celiac Disease and how to make great food that your WHOLE family can eat and enjoy.
And now that this post has been another long and tiresome rambling about MY thoughts and opinions I will leave you with what I read today. As you read it and laugh, please take a moment to think about how you would feel if you didn't know better, and this news was presented to you in this way. Most of this SO VERY TRUE, that's why we laugh at it, but imagine that you didn't know anything but what this article is saying.
Since termination is such a common option for children with Down syndrome, why aren't typical developing children diagnosed like this?
How to give parents a pre-natal diagnosis:
I'm very sorry, I have the results of the genetic tests and they have confirmed our suspicions that your fetus is what we call ... Normal. Some people prefer the terms "Ordinarily Challenged" or "Normal Syndrome". The syndrome can be easily identified by a complete lack of any interesting genetic characteristics. I know this will come as a shock to you, but you should be aware of what this is likely to mean.
If your fetus manages to survive the rest of the pregnancy and the birth, which is becoming more common these days, he or she will face some daunting challenges. Children who suffer from normalcy are prone to health and psychological problems. It is almost certain that the growing child will suffer a seemingly endless stream of viruses. They will frequently damage themselves, and sometimes others, from their excessive energy.
Their relentless demands will put a strain on your existing family and, of course, your relationship with your partner will suffer, and possibly end in a painful and acrimonious separation. Any children you already have, even if they also suffer from normalcy, will be jealous of the newcomer and all their extra attention. Many siblings are liable to be psychologically scarred by the new arrival.
I need hardly mention the financial consequences, although disastrous, they will be nothing compared to the emotional turmoil your life will suffer.
After a while, you may be lucky and find they can be kind and loving young children. They may find some temporary happiness in things such as music, dancing, food or playing with toys.
But if they survive early childhood, a Normal child is almost certain to grow into a Normal adolescent. Your years of sacrifice will be thrown back in your face as they become disobedient, wild and reckless. Unable to find happiness and contentment, they will treat you with contempt until they manage to leave home. Even then the suffering will continue as they will often return to try and extract money. They will blame you for their own faults and leave you bitter and twisted.
They may well become criminals, over a quarter of Normals will have trouble with the law, many will spend time in jail. Many will have problems with alcohol or drug abuse. Normal marriages are often
unhappy and short and over half end in divorce.
Even if they become successful this is likely to be because of the often observed tendency of Normals towards excessive greed. The chances of them sharing their success with you are remote and they will tend to see you as an embarrassment.
Finally, Normal people are likely to die before their time. 23% will die of cancer, 33% of heart disease. Hundreds every year in this country alone are so distressed by their condition that they take their own life. I'm sorry to say that many will have had a lonely, painful and pointless existence.
I am afraid that Normal Syndrome is a genetic condition that affects every cell of the body, and so is impossible to cure.
Termination is an option.
Shall I book an appointment?
..... from a parent who received a diagnosis rather like this.
Bob Lincoln, author
Total fees for this adoption will amount to approximately $40 000.
To date, we have paid out about $9 500.
We have $4 267.
Which means that we still have another $26 233 to go.
We will be putting out about $2 000 - 3 000 in the next few weeks as we send our paperwork to be translated (after being notarized, legalized, and authenticated).
Our Miracle of 2 fundraiser, didn't really work out the way that is was intended, and seemed to morph into the $200 Best Buy Gift Card Giveaway instead. Thank you so much to everyone to donated. We greatly appreciate all of your assistance in bringing our little girl home. In total we have raised just over $1 500 to date.
We are working on other projects to help raise the rest of the money needed to bring Miss K home, without having to go any further into debt. Your love, thoughts, and prayers are just as much appreciated as your monetary assistance.
That being said, I am happy to announce the winner of the $200 Best Buy Gift Card.
That's right, MG. One of my beautiful, loving aunts dropped off an envelope of money that she had collected for us with a list of who had donated and how much. One of these people were MG. So Ann, we will be getting in touch with you to find our who this person is and how we can get their $200 Best Buy Gift Card to them.
Blessing of light and love to all~
Edited post script -
Draw done using Random.org, number 30 came up.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Ever since we started out on this journey to bring her home and make her a part of OUR family, I have always imagined that this day would be different then it was. I dreamed that we would be with her, or on our way to her, or at the very least waiting to get word of the day that we would meet her. I certainly never thought that we would still be sitting here, waiting to here from our own government. Seriously, at the end of August I was told that our government was issuing approvals within a week. Once our homestudy was submitted (a little more then a week later) our agency was told 3-4 weeks. That freaked me out a little bit, as we were on a timeline, but I could understand how they could get busier as September rolled around. Well it has now been more then 11 weeks!!!! Can that even be right! I totally stopped counting way to long ago apparently. Gee 11 weeks, could our government agencies be hindering this process anymore!?
I know that I have been pretty much completely absent from my blog. I honestly have no idea how many people, if any, wait for a new post to read, to see how things are going. I know that I have a few blogs that I follow, and I get a little antsy when they don't post, and I am always grateful when they do. So, although I'm a little doubtful, but if you are out there - I AM SORRY! I was honestly convinced that our approval would come in a couple of weeks ago, and took the week to make sure that everything else was completely together so that I could personally RUN the paperwork everywhere that it needed to go, pay what ever I needed to pay, plead, cry, and beg so that we would be able to submitted our paperwork before Miss K's government stops taking new dossiers over the holiday season. Well, considering that this Thursday is the last day for submissions, it is glaringly obvious to me that we are not going to be submitted this year. Which means that we will not be traveling this year:( As our cut off date approached, and past, the gravity of what that means hit me very hard. Top that with a "miss Destiny trigger" and it equaled a couple of VERY down days for me.
I am happy to say that the great sadness has mostly pasted. Not enough for me to think about how it was her birthday today, without us. Not enough for me to really talk about it today, while we are without her. I am trying hard to focus on some positive things of not being submitted yet, like more time to help our treasure to nail down the process of being dry ALL day and only wearing ONE pair of panties per day. The reality though, is that I am dealing with this the same way that I deal with most things that I don't want to devote to much time to thinking about, by planning and carrying out a project. Today's project was our treasures birthday party. Our treasure is 2 years and a few days younger then Miss K, so a birthday party some time around now was a give in, and we have to have our parties on Sundays, this is the day that worked. So I wrote up invitations, I put both girl's names on them, and I fully intended to say something around gift time (because that's when everyone is together and you can get their attention for a moment). I thought that we would all take a moment and think about her, send her a little birthday wish....
Here is how today went. About 4 am this morning, before I went to bed I counted out to see what time it was where my precious gift is. Okay, 11 am. I missed the morning, but she still had a lot of day left. I sat down for a moment and thought about her and wished her a happy and wonderful day, full of smiles and laughter. Then I cried a little, and went to bed. Talked to a few people at the party about how the adoption was (or was not) going, about K, and about how it is her birthday today, and yes we were sad that we were not able to be with her any time soon. Then came time for cake and gifts, and I didn't think I'd be able to say anything without starting to slip into that sadness of the weeks before, so I did not. Then I talked with my treasure about how today was her birthday party, but it was K's birthday, and we wished her a Happy Birthday. Then everyone went to bed, I am stayed up, trying to write this post and waiting for midnight so that I can draw a winner for our $200 Best Buy Gift Card.
My dear sweet, sweet, K*******, I am so very sorry that we are not closer to bringing you home yet. I am sorry that you spent another birthday without the love and hugs of a Mum & Dad. I am sorry that I am allowing this to take such a toll on me, that I am not stronger and more positive. I hope that you never see me like this, and I hope that your little sister to be doesn't notice it too much.
I hope that you had a wonderful day, that if you knew that it was your birthday, that you knew that as a positive thing. I hope that you played, had fun, laughed. I hope that you felt special, and cared about. I hope that you can feel the love that surrounds you from people all over this world. I hope that you feel the desire to be a part of a family, as deeply as we want you to be a part of our family. I pray that you do not feel the sadness or devastation that we are feeling now.
So many people love you so much. You have a HUGE family waiting for you to come home and be a part of their lives. You have a little sister who tells EVERYONE she encounters that we are going to come and get you and bring you home. You have a Daddy who is trying hard to keep his heart guarded as we go through this process to bring you home, but who's whole face lights up every time he see your picture and we talk about you being home. You have a Mummy who desperately want to be able to hold you, show you love, and have the privilege of getting to be a part of your life.
We love you. Be strong, stay happy, and open yourself up to all of the love that you have been receiving (and will continue to receive). We will be there soon, not soon enough, but soon.
Happy 6th Birthday my lovely gift :-)
Love You Always,
Monday, November 8, 2010
I have an update coming soon. I will be letting you know EXACTLY where we are in the process, what and where our expenses have been so far, what expenses are coming up, how our fundraiser is coming along, and what fundraisers we have in the works. Remember, only about 2 weeks left for your chance to win the $200 Best Buy gift card. I was informed that the chip in may not have been working properly, but it seems to be now. Please let me know if you have any trouble with it, so we can get it working quickly. Thank you so much to all of you who have donated already, your support is greatly appreciated! Good luck in the draw :-) Oh, and remember, it we reach our goal there will be a second drawing for an even more exciting prize! So keeping sharing our story and fundraiser with anyone who you think would be interested.
Blessings to all,
PLEASE go to Julia's blog and read these two posts.
There are children all over this world, looking for a family, looking for where they belong, hoping and dreaming to have a chance to feel unconditional love....
YOU can help. I know that all of this is sad. I know the whole in your chest that it can rip open and make you feel like you can't breath. But please STOP saying, "Oh, it's too much" or "I don't want to know". This is these children's lives, it everyone said "Oh, well not my problem" how would anything ever improve? Please think about what type of difference you can make in this world. Even if it is only for one person for one day. Every good memory that you have starts with just one tiny thing going right and bringing a smile to your face.
And for those you are reading this, passing judgement thinking that I am forgetting about all of the children right here in Canada who need families and love and understanding and guidance. I'm not. If you want to help Canadian children before you send your assistance over seas, then do so. Take action NOW. There are many things that you can do to help Canadian children who do not live with forever families.
- You can adopt one of Canada's waiting children,
- you could become a foster parent,
- you could become a respite family,
- you can volunteer to be a mentor and a friend to a child who has become a crown ward,
- you can donate money to your local CAS,
- better yet donate items.
When children who are labeled as crown wards age out of the system at 18 yrs old, they are on their own. They do receive some financial assistance for a couple of years, but not enough for them to live on, and defiantly not enough to put them through post secondary programs. These young adults would greatly appreciate your donations to set up their first homes, or scholarships for schools. The truth is that it is not a perfect system, but children in Canada do have better possibilities for their future then children in 2nd and 3rd world countries.
If you need help finding out how YOU can make a difference, please email me. I have tons of ideas, and I'll help you find the contact info you need so you can help where you feel lead to help.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Please feel free to ask any questions you may have, or to post your comments. Here is a section of the article that I received today;
Social Justice Reporter
Nov. 3, 2010
"Right now only 8 per cent of the more than 8,300 Crown wards in Ontario have
social workers actively looking for families to adopt them, says the
Adoption Council of Ontario, which is calling for an overhaul of the
province's adoption bureaucracy.
Meantime, there are more than 1,000 families waiting to adopt children in
the public system and another 1,500 families waiting for home studies to
determine if they are eligible to adopt.
"The public adoption system in Ontario is broken and needs immediate
attention," said Pat Convery, executive director of the council which
provides support, education and advocacy on the issue."
You can read the whole story here.
Monday, November 1, 2010
There is a statement that I have seen a lot since we started out on this adoption jounrney. "There is no lack of people with the desire to adopt, only the lack of money to do so"
And what a complete true statement this is. We have been so blessed, and are extremly greatful to everyone who has contibuted money to our adoption fund. Bringing a child into our home and family through adoption seems to come at the end of some pretty hefty fees.
Lately there have been a few RR children who were blessed to recieve FULL GRANTS, helping their family's to make the huge step to come forward and commit to bringing them home. Every cent that these waiting children have in their grant funds make such a difference in the lives, even if they neve know it.
It is now offical Angel Tree time at RR. If you have not already please do go and check out the new web site, it`s awesome:)
For your viewing pleasure here is the 2010 Angel Tree video,
Friday, October 29, 2010
Please do read it. I am here to tell you that, it is very difficult when in the "heat" of everything to be able to express to others exactly what they can do to help, and actually having to stop, explain, and show someone is not very helpful (as most new first time Mom's learn when well intentioned guest show up to "help").
Sorry it has been SO long since my last post. I have many news ones coming, because of course I do actually have TONS to say;) I have a hard enough time writing and staying on topic and not jumping around etc, when I'm not so busy and my mind is not completely elsewhere, but trust me, I still have lots to say.
Hugs and love to all,
Thursday, October 14, 2010
We are excited to announce the growth of our family, with our new daughter. Her internet name is Kameron and she is simply beautiful. She was born in 2004 in Eastern Europe and has been living in an orphanage for most of her life, if not all of it. A couple of different friends were able to see her a few times over the last year; they report she has had some kind of surgery on her hip and/or leg, and she is doing better physically. One of these friends also reports her personality, although still very sweet, is changing. Her spirit is waning.
We come to you now and ask for your support. We are in need of two things, the first being love. Please surround us with your love and support. Please surround our little girl that she will be kept safe and that we can speed through this process and bring her home quickly and safely. It is true; our daughter is one of the luckier ones. Where she lives right now is one of the better orphanages. She has a director and care givers who care about her, and take care of her the best they are able. She is obviously getting at least some of the care that she needs, as she received her surgery, and is making noticeable progress physically. The real sad part is her future, and it is VERY near for her. Between the ages of 4 and 6 children are moved out of the baby houses, where Kameron currently is living. She will be transferred to an older child's home or to an institution. We are not sure where she will go, but any transfer will have astronomical consequences for her. Even more so if she is sent to an institution. We must bring her home ASAP! Please repost this to your facebook pages, on your blog, on any online forum that you think would be appropriate. Also feel free to make copies of this to pass around as a letter to your churches, your family, your friends, your Bible studies, acquaintances at work etc. Ask them to surround us in love, in light and to pray for this process to be expedited and for the safety and security of our little girl.
The second is monetary. As you can expect, international adoption is very expensive. To bring Kameron home will cost almost $40,000 total. I have been counting this $20 at a time, just 2000 $20 bills. This money could be tax deductible if you are a US citizen and give through Reece’s Rainbow! Some friends and family have blessed us already in this way, and are greatly appreciative of all of your gifts, support, good thoughts, prayers and monetary donations.
We have planned a fundraiser called The Miracle of 2. We are asking if you would consider donating $2 towards creating a miracle in Kameron's life, and if you could then share our story and fundraiser with 2 other people who may be interested in being a part of her miracle. It may not seem like a very big amount, but every penny helps. We believe that it is true, that generosity grows generosity. That each penny that goes into our adoption fund will multiple and grow thanks to everyone's good thoughts and prayer. This also may not seem like a miracle to you, but to this one little girl, who has been watching her friends meet with their families daily for weeks at a time, and then go home with them, leaving her behind.... You bet this is her miracle, and her dreams come true. It is ours too! If you are willing to share our story, and help it to spread, we will all get a chance to see how generosity and love can grow. And with your continued support of love and prayer, we will be able to bring our little girl home as quickly as the paperwork process allows. She will not have to suffer through a transfer; she will not have to know life from the inside of an Eastern European institution. With your love and generosity of spirit she will know, and very soon, the love of a family, the security of her own home, and she will learn that she is beautiful and perfect just as she is. The fundraiser will run from Friday, October 14, 2010 until Kameron's 6th birthday on Sunday, November 21, 2010. Our goal is to raise $30 000. On Monday, November 22, we will announce on our blog the total raised. Each donation of $2 or more will get one entry into our giveaway, to be held at the end of the fundraiser. Please be sure to email me or leave a comment so I can keep track of your donations. We are also looking forward to seeing how far our efforts will travel. In preparation for the holiday season the giveaway will be $200.00 Best Buy Gift Card. Now for the fine print, if we have money left over after our adoption is complete, it will go back to Reece's Rainbow to help another child to go home to their forever family. Those who have already donated cash to our FSP fund or directly to us already will receive a chance to win the giveaway. If we reach our goal there will be a second drawing for a surprise giveaway !
If you are unable to help financially, please still consider helping us by surrounding all of us in your love and prayer, and sharing our story with everyone you know. You can help bring this little girl home; you can be a part of her miracle.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and to join with us in our leap of faith!
You can follow us on our road to adoption- http://ourjourneytohome.blogspot.com/
Visit our family sponsorship page at http://www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorbeamish.html
Also, find us on Facebook at Bringing Kameron Home
To contact us
There are many ways you can donate,
The Chip in on our blog
Drop off at Sarox/Turn the Page, Sutton, Ontario
Through Reece's Rainbow, with by pay pal on their web site or by mail. We receive 100% of your donations, and it is tax deductible if you are a US citizen (only when given directly through Reece‘s Rainbow). Don't forget to write "Beamish Family" on the memo line. Please mail cheques and money orders in USD to,
Po Box 4024
Gaithersburg, MD 20885
You can also mail it to us directly at,
C/o Sarox Heating
Thank you for your time, consideration, and assistance in bringing our daughter home.
Sara and Mike Beamish
All you have, is the present moment. Take a second and think about what that really means...go ahead, I'll wait for you. Now, if you have REALLY thought about it, even if you have thought about it before, you will know that it is a very profound statement, and absolutly true. Please do not put off today, all of the things that you dream of, all of the things that hold importance in your heart because you are too tired, busy, stressed, etc to do/deal with them now.
The passing of Anne Marie has taken it's toll on many hearts today, and I imagine on many more after reading everyone's facebook notes and blog posts..... There was a responce to one of the FB status's tonight that I feel VERY compeled to share with you. It made me think of when Destiny was born and she was in the Level 3 NICU. Beside her was a little boy named Noah, he was the tiniest person that I have ever seen. My 4 lb 16 inch baby was a GIANT next to him. I have always wondered what happened to him, wondered if he survied. I remember that he was always crying, although he was too little to make a sound or have tears. We knew because his little heart rate would shot so high up (I didn't know a human heart could go that fast), and you could see him tiny little face contorted with pain, anger, frusteration...who knows. NO ONE was ever there visiting him. No one was wispering to him, or stroking him tiny little body throught the incubator holes. I was always greatful that the nurses in there were great, and fast to attend to him, but sad that he did not have one on one care.....
Any way, I wanted to share this woman's story with you. Her son that she adopted was 2 yrs old, and he weighed just 9 lbs.
"Eight years ago my son laid in between two small girls in and orphanage in Ukraine. He was in an area where children that were in critical condition. Neither of these three children had a name only a number above their bed. When I met my s...on his eyes were fixed and never once moved. He was like a small doll casted aside and left to die. I would grab his small hands and wiggle his fingers and move on to the next child. Each day I noticed his eyes following me and I would whisper to him in Ukrainian "I love you" and also the two other small girls.
That weekend the heating system was not working properly and all the caregivers laid all the blankets they had on the children. They used the heavier blankets for the heatlhy children and the sick ones were left with what looked like a handtowel. The next day I had brought into the orphanage several duffle bags of blankets. I was so proud of myself for collecting all of these blankets and they were going be put to good use. I went over to my son's bed to wrap him up and noticed the smallest of the girls laid still and cold. As I slowly picked her up I realized she had died and it had been awhile and lefted unnoticed. I searched through my bags and got out the softly of all the blankets and wrapped her up and whisper once again I love you. During my frist marriage I had delivered twins and never got to hold them to say goodbye. I never had the closure and the chance to kiss their small heads. In my heart this was my Elizabeth and I got to say my goodbyes. As several hours had passed my soon to be son was still asleep, afraid inside to try to wake him, I guess it was fear. The fear of seeing death once again. The remaining little girl I could barely hear her breathe, with the small cry like a kitty. I picked her up and assured myself she was not to be alone. At that point of time I did not know it would have been her last breath. She died within minutes of my arms. I sat to the floor and just cried, like a baby I wept and wept to where I could not breathe. A caregiver minutes later came and carried her away.. The grounds were frozen and both the girls laid in a room alone. We were told they had to wait to dig a grave and buried them. Not like here we have a coffin, a service, just waiting for the grounds to unfreeze and placed in the earth. My husband Gary had went to a local store and came back with a shovel. In the far backside of this orphanage was an area where he was allowed to dig two small graves.
Once it was time to place them inside we had to stop and decided to lay them side by side. The second little girl I had named after my mother.
Slowly we added small hand fulls of dirt over their blankets. No coffin, no headstone, no flowers but we gave them a final kiss and a name.
As I enter back into my son's orphanage his bed laid empty. I thoughts my worse fears had arrived. They had moved him back in with the other babies and he had his eyes wide open. Tonight he laids in his bed filled with his stuff animals and a mother and a father that walk in his room each night to kiss him on his head. Eight years and it seems likje yesterday and I still think to myself what if I was there just a little bit sooner, thought what if I had held both of them a little more. Anne Marie is now with my little ones in Heaven. She is able to be held by the angels and now loved and not forgotten.
If we all would understand these children in these orphanages do not have clocks where we can turn back the time for them. They need to be adopted today, receive the medical care that is needed and yes be loved by a parent and have their own little bed to sleep in at night. This year we are adopting once again two small girls and in two weeks I will hold them in my arms. It will be cold outside and I pray they make it through this winter.. I pray for all children living day in and day out with noone to hold them and love them..."
I really hope that everyone has read this to the end. I know that you are likely in tears, or even sobbing. It IS important to know these things. It IS important to not turn away.
Love, light, hugs, and blessing to all
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
This is Anne Marie
She was born in an Eastern European country that carries a wide spread belief that people who are not "typical" are not worth life. She was born with Down Syndrome as well as a heart condition. Although we are not sure what her cause of death was, I have a pretty good idea that it was the accumulation of her life and circumstances. I also firmly believe that the ONLY thing that stood in this little girls way of growing up in a forever family was money. If her biological family had enough money, they may have been able to beat the odds and raise her in their home. If her country had the money, they may have been able to offer social services and medical treatments to her and her family (or even her orphanage). If her orphanage had money, they may have been able to bring in doctors and therapist from around the world to help them learn how to help children with different needs grown and thrive, or more basically they may have had enough food to feed all of their children so that none of them were suffering from malnutrition or dehydration. If the families who wanted to adopt her and bring her home had enough money for their adoption, her medical care, and her on going needs, they would have been able to do so.
Please go to this blog, and read about Anne Marie. See her photos, and a quick video of her.
After, take some time and think to yourself. I know that this is hard, I know that it is sad, I know that it hurts. But this is people, children's REAL lives! PLEASE do NOT just turn away from that. Open your eyes, look and see. No matter what, you could help these children. All children from all over the world without families of their own, YOU could help them. Advocate for them, be their voice, help them unite with their forever family. But that's not all, you can still do more. Do you feel that you are meant to adopt? There are many definitions to that question, so REALLY think about it. I'm here if you want to talk about the possibilities of what adoption could mean to you. If you don't think you are meant to adopt, then please do consider helping others adopt by donating to their adoption funds, or by helping a child's grant grow. Children with large grants do generally find homes. It is EXPENSIVE to adopt, especially here in Ontario were our choices are so limited to the use of agencies etc. If you want a break down of our adoption, just ask. I keep VERY good records of this.
The other thing that you can do to help these children is to love them. Pray for them, send them love, let your good and positive thoughts be about them and for them, send them and surround them in bright clean white light. What ever it is that you do, and how you do it, give these children your love.
Please go to http://www.reecesrainbow.com/
If you are wanting to help with any of their projects and are having trouble, send me an email, or leave me a comment and I'll help you any way I can.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Super excited to announce our new fundraiser very soon. Details will defiantly be out by the end of the week:)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Over the last couple of days I have added many new friends on facebook, and I have been so moved and touched by how many people have commented on Kameron, and the fact that they had considered if they were the right family for her or not.... The feeling to know that she had not just been passed over, that there were many who had seen her, thought of her, prayed for her, loved her, and prayer for us to come forward to bring her home.... THANK YOU, to all of you. We always welcome and appreciate your love and prayers, but to be told and to know that you are all out there is priceless.
Tonight I am compelled to share the little things that make my day, maybe it is because it's Thanksgiving here, and we celebrated with my husbands family tonight without his uncle for the first time, and without Destiny a year later. Maybe it is because I have become so immersed in the world and life of orphanages, special needs orphanages in particular and am changing (for the better). I am thankful for all that I have, for who I am, and for those who I get to share my life with. I am happy that I am able to find joy in the small things, that I am blessed to see these things as the gifts that they are.
Love, light, and blessing.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone:-)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Hopefully we will be able to follow her families journey to bring her home. Congratulations, whoever you are, I couldn't be happier for you :-)
Yeah for you sweet girl!!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
My children, all of my children. How I miss so many of my children. My Destiny, my Kameron, my foster son, the little girl who was almost our foster daughter, the little boy who we came so close to adopting once.... Two of these little ones no longer with us, having returned to spirit. Two little ones who I will never get updates for or hear how they are doing, but will love them and wonder about them everyday. And one very special little girl, who just one year ago was described as so very happy, and not "spirited" like some of the other kids, only happy. But over the summer I was told that she does in deed have some of the "spirit". She is waiting for us, she has been waiting for us for so long, and my heart breaks for her that she has been without a family of her own for so long. So long that her personality is possibly changing, it seems that she is becoming hardened by her life's experiences, and where she is right now is one of the good places to be. I wonder and worry about this whole timeline thing. I don't want her to have to undergo a transfer. How horrible would that be for her, regardless of where she would end up. Too be moved, when she is so close to coming home with her forever family.
I have also been giving a lot of thought lately to my curiosity of what people REALLY think about our adoption plans. I know that there are people out there who don't understand, those who think we are crazy, those who think what we are doing is wrong, those who see adoption as a means to an end... I would love to address some of these, if anyone is brave enough, and hopefully tactful enough to make a comment worth posting and responding too. Adoption means so many things to us, and it is so much more then just bringing our daughter home. I am still trying to work on the "Our Story" post. But it is so much harder then I thought it would be to say all I have to say in one little post that makes sense to anyone reading it, because if you don't know us, and know the WHOLE story of how we have gotten from there to here, then how would you ever be able to follow and understand and short and sweet answer that would be full of wholes and leave you full of questions. Maybe I should just write our whole story, day by day, but who would really want to read that?
Oh, and in the back of my mind always yelling at me, I am still struggling with the homeschooling thing. All of you homeschooling Mom's out there, you are amazing if you are getting your child though day to day. I think someone should auction off to the highest bidder (or even raffle it off) for someone to be able to come and stay with them for a week. Get a chance to see how someone else organizes there life, and gets through the day with a bunch of kids, homeschooling, 1 income etc..... I'm sure that I'm not the only with questions;)
Adoption update. Our homestudy is in the possession of the Ontario ministry awaiting for someone to review it and approve it. We are working on getting all of the other papers together that Miss K's country requires. We are still waiting to hear exactly what date she will be cleared for IA so that we know what day we can submit our paperwork, and a better idea of our travel timeline, but also when our paperwork MUST be ready for. We are still trying to figure out how the agency and RR work together, as they use different in country facilitators who have different processes. It is certainly a journey!
If only my mind would quite enough that I could go fall asleep before I get to the point that my eye involuntarily close only to dream all of the same millions of thoughts and to wake up with it all still going...
I also wanted to advocate for a young man who I think would make someone an excellent son. Please consider him, as I can't stop thinking about him. He too is one of these 8 million thoughts. I think he would be a great son. We will not be able to adopt again until a minimum of 18 months after Miss K is home. I wish that there would be no need for adoption when that day comes, but at the very least I would hate to see any of the children that I am advocating for to still be looking for a family. This is Stefan....
Boy, Born May 4, 2000
Stefan is so handsome! Stefan is diagnosed with ADHD. He takes medication daily to help control the ADHD. He is considered mildly delayed, but this could simply be an institutional delay accompanied by a learning disability because of his ADHD. He loves to be around other people, hugged and loved. He is sensitive and can tell when someone doesn't like him him. His behavior is much better in small groups, and he would significantly benefit from help in school, behavior therapy, and medication.
UPDATE: Stephan is attending an elementary school for children with special needs. He is in 2nd grade this year and is doing very well. He is receiving instruction in socialization, self-help skills, motor skills, communication and cognitive learning. He is doing very well in school and his teacher reports that he is progressing well. He enjoys school and gets along well with his peers.
ADHD is so common, and there are so many resources in our families and communities to help Stefan be all that he should be!
There is no "court"...only a beautiful "adoption ceremony". Orphanage donations are not required. Short, simple dossier, very short wait for travel once your dossier is submitted. This is a very easy program, and we could get many children out of this country with minimal costs and easy travel requirements.
There are many children advocated for on the RR web site who I would love to adopt, and I think they would be a great fit with our family. I try not to read through the profile, but it's so hard not too, especially when you are working with them all of the time trying to update and ready the new web site, which is coming VERY soon. I dream of filling our home with the smiles and laughter of many children that make up a large family. Perhaps one day that dream will come true, or perhaps not. Only time will tell that. All of these children deserve a family though, big or small. Please consider the idea of adoption. I understand that many may not want to see all of these profiles and photos of children who wait for their families to find them, to know that these are only a very small number of all of the children who are out there world wide looking for someone to love them. You can choose to close your eyes and pretend that it doesn't exist, we all have that choice. I choose to be a voice for these children. The reality of the world is, that there is no shortage of people who want or wish to adopt, only the lack of knowledge and funds to do so. The only way to bridge that gap and bring these families together is to advocate for adoptions, show people where they can get more information about all kinds of adoption programs, and to help support organizations and individuals financially. There are so many people involved in the process, all of them "professionals" requiring a "professionals" fee, running on a "specialist" time schedule. It is a lot for the average person to go through, sometimes just to find out a very small amount of information. Maybe I really should open up the web site/blog that I've been thinking about for the past 7 years where people in Ontario can go to ONE place and find out EVERYTHING they need to know about all of their adoption options in and from this province....ya, another one of those millions of thoughts that doesn't stop.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Again, I highly recommend that everyone in the area stop by. The vendor list has been similar, but different every weekend that we have been there, and from the weekend before that (when we scoped it out). With Christmas coming up (yep, it will be here before you know it), please consider stopping by for some ideas and some gifts to cross off your list.
We will not be there next weekend, although it would probably be good for us it we were. But we have out of town Thanksgiving plans. We will be back the weekend after that, at which point we may have to decided if it is worth our hard work to be there. Mike & I are working hard to fund this adoption, and we greatly appreciate all of the help that many have given us along the way. But with Mike working all week, and then frequently on Saturdays (sometimes to bring in a little extra, he is usually helping others and not working so it often doesn't bring anything in), and then me spending Sunday at the market, we are not getting any quality time as a family all together before everything changes. I can tell you that if we were paying for a table at the market, we would not be making enough to be there....which loosely translates into "Should we be there?" Every penny helps, but I wonder it there is not a way to be working smarter, because I don't know how much harder there is when it comes to the market.
I am working on an idea.....a pennies from heaven type of idea. I would need volunteers though, and it is boarding on something that I said I won't do..... Perhaps not such a good idea then..... I'll have to think about it a little longer. I do have a couple of ideas, but I'm not sure how they would be received and again, they would require volunteers. Some days I wish that our timeline wasn't as it is. I come up with these GREAT ideas, but they would need so much of my crazy planning, that I wouldn't be able to put them together until next spring. And I have been told that we should be home by then, so that's out. Some of you may think, "Well, that's your own fault now isn't it". Because this is adoption, it is a choice, and we are creating this choice in the way that it is playing out. My reality is that it was our choice, our choice to move forward in an adoption. But once we committed to the idea, and then found our child (which we NEVER expected to happen), well there is always a choice, but we are not the people who choose to turn our back on our children. She is there, she is waiting, and the time is ticking and not in her favour. We must move quickly to help her, and to save her from what awaits her. If your child was waiting for you, at school, at a friends house, stuck somewhere calling you from a pay phone, wouldn't you jump up to go and get them. To bring them home, to make them safe, to let them know that you are there and that you love them. Well, that's it for us. She does not know that we are coming for her, or who we are, but she WANTS to leave, she WANTS to have a family of her own, she is waiting for someone to show up and pick her, to love her....
Thinking, planning, and trying to fiure it all out.....