Sunday, September 12, 2010

Feeling a little frustrated

Okay, hang on tight because this is going to be a "venting" kind of post. First, I've spent the last 5 hours working on the new RR web site, and although I am SO VERY EXCITED to see how many families are adopting these children, I am still very saddened by by work tonight. I had to remove 11 children's profiles from the site because their files have been returned to their country....11 children no longer being advocated for on this web site, 11 children who had a chance for their forever families to see them listed here, but who are NOT being adopted...and my little Maggie was one of them. Also a beautiful young girl who reminded me of Destiny was removed because sadly, she passed away in August. And lastly on the sad news, one of the commitments fell through and I had to place a child's profile back on to the web site. There was good things though! I moved many families along in the process, steps closer to being with their child or children. I was also able to move a few children's profiles into the rescued children's area, and I added New Commitments of families who are just starting out. There was also I mixed feelings post, where the family was committed to adopting a little girl, but her birth family has decided to take her home (very happy for the birth family and the little girl, but very sad for the family). The committed family was able to make a commitment to a different child and are getting closer everyday to meeting their son (Yeah! They are still going to adopt and grow their family, and now 2 children from the web site have homes).

In doing all of this work I have been becoming more familiar with the different families who are in different stages of the adoption process. I am amazed at how quickly some are able to get through their paper work etc, and how slowly some other people's process take. People who committed after we did have all ready finished all of their paperwork. There is no way that we would be able to get things done that quickly here in Ontario. I find it very interesting to see how different the laws and legislation is in different countries, provinces, and states, and how sometimes it's as easy as finding a different social worker to get what you want. We would have had to move to get what we really a different province, and possibly to a different country.

Now for the super frustrated part...What the heck is wrong with York CAS!!!? I don't need a list, I have one of my own. The real question is, how can they get a way with just not responding to people? I remember in 2008 when our foster son came to live with us and Metro called them, a few times, to see if we could use a room their for visits. They couldn't even be bothered to call them back to say "No", they just DON'T respond. Our social worker sent them a fax request more then 2 months ago now asking for a standard clearance, as is required with all homestudies completed in Ontario. After over a month he then has called them 2 or 3 times to inquire about this. On Friday I called. Guess what, no answer, leave a message. Usually I actually prefer this. I like to be able to call and leave a message of exactly what I want and am looking for, that way they can call me back informed, no long pauses or going on hold indefinitely, no messed up mumbled answers as they try to figure it all out. Well, I left the message, and I guess what....No reply. Well, I will be leaving another message tomorrow, so it will be there for Monday morning, and I will be calling Monday morning. If I don't here back by Monday afternoon, I will have to call and ask for someone else. I don't want to have to go down there on Tuesday as we start swimming lessons on Tuesday, but i don't want to leave it either. We need to get this so we can see our social worker sometime this week so we can FINISH our homestudy. Our deadline is FAST approaching and we are WAY PAST DUE on having our homestudy finished. My original goal was to have it completed by the end of August, but with PRIDE training running so late we had to extend that to include early September. Well now it is the 11th, the ONLY thing keeping me sane at this point is the fact that I was told that we should be able to get our approval within a week of submitting our homestudy, because if I was still thinking that it would take weeks, I would be crying right now instead of just feeling frustrated. I don't understand how other people are allowed to have so much power over your life. Does anyone else feel that way in the adoption process....the sw has to like you and say if you can adopt. They recommend the age and the number of children they think you can handle, and everything rests on them. Without them you can't even start. Then the agency and the country (even if it's your own country) and/or the birth mom....they do the paperwork when they have time, they have info when their ready, they call all of the shots, and then everything else like directors, workers, judges.....I'm not saying that any of these people are bad or slow or anything like that, I'm just saying....I guess I'm saying that I'm a control freak and I hate how little control I seem to have over this whole process.

Okay, I've taken a deep breath and I see what time it is.... I think that it's time to go to bed. Our niece is here for the night, so I'm hoping that I didn't "waste" the time that I couldn't have sleeping to watch movies, work on the web site, check my email, and write this post (most of that all at the same time).

Good night everyone:) Oh, and PLEASE, if you have ever thought about adoption do consider checking out the RR web site and wonder if your child is listed there.... If you are someone I know, I've likely matched you with a child already, as I tend to read the profiles as I move them and often a family that I know (and sometimes these are people who I don't know well, just that I know you) comes to mind as I think of personalities clicking, physical traits that are similar, etc....

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