It's the middle of the night, and I'm sitting here on the computer, again. My mind running with it's eight million thoughts and plans, it never stops. I stay up late because it's quite and I can finally shift through some of these thoughts and idea and try to make sense of the things that I have been seeing bits and pieces of all day long. In the dark of the night all thoughts become clearer. Do you want to know what they are....
My children, all of my children. How I miss so many of my children. My Destiny, my Kameron, my foster son, the little girl who was almost our foster daughter, the little boy who we came so close to adopting once.... Two of these little ones no longer with us, having returned to spirit. Two little ones who I will never get updates for or hear how they are doing, but will love them and wonder about them everyday. And one very special little girl, who just one year ago was described as so very happy, and not "spirited" like some of the other kids, only happy. But over the summer I was told that she does in deed have some of the "spirit". She is waiting for us, she has been waiting for us for so long, and my heart breaks for her that she has been without a family of her own for so long. So long that her personality is possibly changing, it seems that she is becoming hardened by her life's experiences, and where she is right now is one of the good places to be. I wonder and worry about this whole timeline thing. I don't want her to have to undergo a transfer. How horrible would that be for her, regardless of where she would end up. Too be moved, when she is so close to coming home with her forever family.
I have also been giving a lot of thought lately to my curiosity of what people REALLY think about our adoption plans. I know that there are people out there who don't understand, those who think we are crazy, those who think what we are doing is wrong, those who see adoption as a means to an end... I would love to address some of these, if anyone is brave enough, and hopefully tactful enough to make a comment worth posting and responding too. Adoption means so many things to us, and it is so much more then just bringing our daughter home. I am still trying to work on the "Our Story" post. But it is so much harder then I thought it would be to say all I have to say in one little post that makes sense to anyone reading it, because if you don't know us, and know the WHOLE story of how we have gotten from there to here, then how would you ever be able to follow and understand and short and sweet answer that would be full of wholes and leave you full of questions. Maybe I should just write our whole story, day by day, but who would really want to read that?
Oh, and in the back of my mind always yelling at me, I am still struggling with the homeschooling thing. All of you homeschooling Mom's out there, you are amazing if you are getting your child though day to day. I think someone should auction off to the highest bidder (or even raffle it off) for someone to be able to come and stay with them for a week. Get a chance to see how someone else organizes there life, and gets through the day with a bunch of kids, homeschooling, 1 income etc..... I'm sure that I'm not the only with questions;)
Adoption update. Our homestudy is in the possession of the Ontario ministry awaiting for someone to review it and approve it. We are working on getting all of the other papers together that Miss K's country requires. We are still waiting to hear exactly what date she will be cleared for IA so that we know what day we can submit our paperwork, and a better idea of our travel timeline, but also when our paperwork MUST be ready for. We are still trying to figure out how the agency and RR work together, as they use different in country facilitators who have different processes. It is certainly a journey!
If only my mind would quite enough that I could go fall asleep before I get to the point that my eye involuntarily close only to dream all of the same millions of thoughts and to wake up with it all still going...
I also wanted to advocate for a young man who I think would make someone an excellent son. Please consider him, as I can't stop thinking about him. He too is one of these 8 million thoughts. I think he would be a great son. We will not be able to adopt again until a minimum of 18 months after Miss K is home. I wish that there would be no need for adoption when that day comes, but at the very least I would hate to see any of the children that I am advocating for to still be looking for a family. This is Stefan....
Boy, Born May 4, 2000
Stefan is so handsome! Stefan is diagnosed with ADHD. He takes medication daily to help control the ADHD. He is considered mildly delayed, but this could simply be an institutional delay accompanied by a learning disability because of his ADHD. He loves to be around other people, hugged and loved. He is sensitive and can tell when someone doesn't like him him. His behavior is much better in small groups, and he would significantly benefit from help in school, behavior therapy, and medication.
UPDATE: Stephan is attending an elementary school for children with special needs. He is in 2nd grade this year and is doing very well. He is receiving instruction in socialization, self-help skills, motor skills, communication and cognitive learning. He is doing very well in school and his teacher reports that he is progressing well. He enjoys school and gets along well with his peers.
ADHD is so common, and there are so many resources in our families and communities to help Stefan be all that he should be!
There is no "court"...only a beautiful "adoption ceremony". Orphanage donations are not required. Short, simple dossier, very short wait for travel once your dossier is submitted. This is a very easy program, and we could get many children out of this country with minimal costs and easy travel requirements.
There are many children advocated for on the RR web site who I would love to adopt, and I think they would be a great fit with our family. I try not to read through the profile, but it's so hard not too, especially when you are working with them all of the time trying to update and ready the new web site, which is coming VERY soon. I dream of filling our home with the smiles and laughter of many children that make up a large family. Perhaps one day that dream will come true, or perhaps not. Only time will tell that. All of these children deserve a family though, big or small. Please consider the idea of adoption. I understand that many may not want to see all of these profiles and photos of children who wait for their families to find them, to know that these are only a very small number of all of the children who are out there world wide looking for someone to love them. You can choose to close your eyes and pretend that it doesn't exist, we all have that choice. I choose to be a voice for these children. The reality of the world is, that there is no shortage of people who want or wish to adopt, only the lack of knowledge and funds to do so. The only way to bridge that gap and bring these families together is to advocate for adoptions, show people where they can get more information about all kinds of adoption programs, and to help support organizations and individuals financially. There are so many people involved in the process, all of them "professionals" requiring a "professionals" fee, running on a "specialist" time schedule. It is a lot for the average person to go through, sometimes just to find out a very small amount of information. Maybe I really should open up the web site/blog that I've been thinking about for the past 7 years where people in Ontario can go to ONE place and find out EVERYTHING they need to know about all of their adoption options in and from this province....ya, another one of those millions of thoughts that doesn't stop.