Thursday, December 30, 2010

Sweet Baby Cliff

Okay, seriously. Look at this little lovie. NO, really look. Is he not one of the cutest babies EVER?

This is Cliff. He will be 1 at the end of March. He lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe, and he is one of the cutest little baby's that I have ever seen.

He IS cleared for international adoption, so anyone who is looking at this super sweet little face, wondering if he may be your son....that is a real possibility!

Seriously! No, really seriously! I don't think that people are really understanding that they really could adopt this little treasure and make him their son, because if they did, someone would surly have committed to him already, wouldn't they have?

Yes, it is true. There are many children on the RR web site that I wish I could bring home, this little guy included. For the life of me, I just don't understand how his family has not found him yet.

For the holiday season RR has a fundraising event called Angel Tree. Cliff's little face has been out there everywhere, and people must be falling in love with him, because they have donated over $8 000 this month to help his family bring him home. Yep, that's right. More then $8 000 in his grant fund:) So where is his Mummy & Daddy?

How I wish we could bring him home when we travel to meet Miss K, but Ontario will certainly not allow us to adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time, and we are only approved for one child, and it is not likely that we would be approved for more, as that is not easily done here.

I seriously hope that he is not still waiting for his family to find him come his first birthday. If you are interested in possibly adopting him, or helping to find his family please email me here.

My Late Christmas Gift

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. Our second Christmas without our Angel. The previous two years had been seriously messed up for us. Our Christmas 2008 we were all prepared to have this big beautiful Christmas as a family of 5, when Destiny ended up in the hospital with RSV, and our foster son went for a visit with his family and never came back. I was touched by how much effort Sick Kids went through to make Christmas happy for the children and their families who were stuck there, but it still was not Christmas. Destiny came home for New Years, and we celebrated Christmas New Years day. It was strange, and it didn't feel right, and we were missing our little man. Then, when we came home from celebrating, we discovered that our basement had flooded, a full 3 inches or maybe a little more straight across the entire thing. Thankfully it was not finished, but it was certainly full of our stuff, much in cardboard boxes, along with my office area with CPUs on the floor.

Last year we were not really "feeling" it. We were disappointed that we had not been able to move to the new house yet. All of our decorations were in storage (with more then half of the house while we had it listed for sale), and we were still feeling dazed from the loss of our daughter. Then our little one and I spent Christmas Eve with a stomach flu. It was a relief when the 2009 holiday season was over.

This year has been a little different. We are in our new house. Our little one is certainly old enough to fully understand what is going on and is super excited about it. It has been hard, really missing Destiny, knowing that she had never been HERE, and having no where in the house to go to feel that connection with her. Missing our foster son, having never gotten to really say good bye (he passed away in February 2009). Sad that we are not and have not been to EE to bring Miss K home. So many little ones missing from our home, our lives this year. It was also a little stressful as we didn't have money for Christmas this year, as all of our extra money and available credit has been going towards bringing Miss K home. In the end my loving hubby was NOT okay with not giving gifts to our nieces and nephews and so took another side job in order to have a little bit of money so we could get gift for them. We did make it through Christmas this year, our first year in our new house. We hosted both of our families, mine for Christmas dinner, and his for brunch on Monday. The food turned out well, and everyone seemed to have a good time. The children loved going down the hill on the sleds. We lite a candle Christmas morning for Destiny and let it burn through the entire day. I gave each of the children a special "nick nack" that had been Destiny's, from Destiny. Something that they could hold on to and remember her with. We made many happy, wonderful memories this year, and the tears were kept to a minimum.

We quickly learnt on Tuesday that our century old well is not made to entertain in this way, as it was dry. Our water pump finally died too. It made for more memories, and a lesson learned. Everything was better today, after Mike replaced the pump, thank goodness. We were very gentle on the water use, and hope that it will have completely fixed itself by tomorrow. We are very grateful to everyone who gave us cash for Christmas, as it has allowed us to deal with this issue with out stress or worry.

Then, this evening, I checked my email and I saw that I had one waiting to be read (well, actually I had over 180 waiting to be read, but there was one that stood out), and it was from the email address I had been waiting to get an email from, it was from our agency. Very simple it said that our Dossier had been put in the mail today and was on it's was to Miss K's country!!!!! I don't think I could have been more excited and happy:) It truly was the best gift this year. A close second was that someone donated to the quilt draw:) Thank you!!!!!

Hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas for 2010 :-)

Monday, December 13, 2010

An adoption update, finally:)

Our dossier is finally completed, our agency had been paid all of their money, and our paperwork is making it's rounds before being sent to Miss K's country.

This is very exciting! Everything is at a lawyer's office right now getting notarizing, and something else (authenticated or legalized). Then when it's done there it will go to her country's consulate in Toronto to get legalized or authenticated (which ever did not happen at the lawyer's). It usually takes a little less then 2 weeks to have all of this done. Once it is, the agency will pack it up and ship it overseas!

Once it is received by the in country team it will be translated and then submitted in early to mid February!

The end is in sight, the day that we will get to meet our sweet little girl is in sight. We are so excited to be taking this HUGE step forward, and to see and feel the progress that we are making in our adoption journey.

Keep smiling sweet little girl. Your family in coming for you!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Happy News Tonight:)

Wonderful news tonight!!!!!! This beautiful boy, who lives amongst the lost boys, has been found. Brady has a family committed to him :-) He is no longer a lost boy, but a treasured son. Can't wait to find out how his family is, follow their journey to bring him home, and see photos of this little boy in the arms of his parents - his dream come true. Stay strong little man, your Momma & Poppa are on their way!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

All about NOTHING

Please take a moment to read this post written by the amazing Mrs. Julia Nalle.

Julia and her wonderful husband Rob were in Miss K's country earlier this year adopting their beautiful new son Aaron. If you have a minute or a couple of hours you really should read through their blog. They have truly opened their hearts to share what they have seen and experienced while they were there. PLEASE do not let their story frighten you, instead let it fill you and inspire you. They are excellent writers, and their storey needs to be shared. You will also learn why my "crazy" fear of our little girl being transferred are consuming one corner of my mind, and what it could actually and honestly mean if it does happen.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Please remember

Calling everyone who is willing to PLEASE surround us in positive thoughts, love, prayer, and all of those wonderful things.

In Canada we have 1 single grant program for international adoptions. Orphans Hope. They will draw 4 or 5 names sometime in December or January out of the more then 40 families that have current applications. We are one of those families, waiting and hoping. WE REALLY NEED THIS GRANT, and it would make all of the difference in our fiances for this journey to bring Kameron home.

So I am here, cozy in my cyber space home, ask you, who ever you may be, to please keep us in your thoughts. Although this grant will not answer all of needs, it will cover half or more of what we still need. Please send your positive loving energy towards us, surround us, help us to be one of the blessed families to receive this amazing gift.

Blessing and thanks to all

My heart

I'm not sure how to write this, how to make sure exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling gets expressed clearly on this page. If you can read through one of my posts, congratulations for being able to follow the many disconjointed thoughts of my mind. But I'm going to try.

I have so much to say, so many thoughts, on so many subjects. I sit to write on this blog almost every night, but then am unable to assemble my thoughts into anything coherent and give up. Or, I just start crying. What a process this adoption has been. What a world to live in where your eyes and heart are open to all of the realities that you already knew existed in this world. If you know me, you already know what an emotional wreak I can quickly and easily become. How I become emotionally involved in peoples lives who I barely know, never mind my friends and family. How I form relationships in my heart with not only characters in movies, TV shows, and books, but commercials and single page ads. Now imagine my heart after reading all profiles on waiting children all over the world, profiles of parents on their adoption journeys, accounts of what they have encountered and seen while visiting with their children at in their country of birth. Not even just that, but about what happens to children right here in homes in North America.

Then on the flip side seeing photos, videos, reading wonderful and amazing stories about these little angels who were written off before their new Mommy's and Daddy's came to bring them home. Some of these children, 4 years old in baby carriers because they are so tiny. Learning to swallow, eat, sit, roll, stand, and more. Children finally being given a chance to be able to feed themselves, to eat at their own pace, and to learn what a full tummy feels like. The happiness, joy, pride, hope, excitement...all lead me to tears.

The little ones who have so many issues, and are so involved that they remind me of Destiny, and or our little man. Then I start missing my sweet angels, and remember just how empty my arms are without them.

And then our little Kameron. A beautiful girl who EVERY describes as always happy, who deserves so much more then she has had in this life. In the last year she has sat and watched at least 2 of the little girls in her groupa, her friends, her sisters, have families come and visit with them daily. Families who bring gifts, and snacks, and spend time with hugs and kisses and undivided attention, for weeks. And then her friends left, went with their new families to live their new lives, and she was left behind. Of course I know that this has happened because she is our daughter and she is waiting for us to go and get her. She is waiting for it to be her turn to have a family come and visit with her everyday for weeks and then take her home. I also know that everything happen just as it is meant to, so I don't need to be told or reminded. None of this helps when I think about how she just spent her 6th birthday still technically an orphan. How she will be spending her 7th Christmas without knowing a family Christmas celebration. She should have been home with us already. She should be learning what the "Buster Brown Pie" is. She should be waking up with her little sister in the morning and coming to snuggle with us in bed. I should be hanging her stocking with the rest of them, waiting for Santa to come and fill it up. And these are the thoughts that I am thinking on top of the other regular thoughts of, how are we going to communicate with her, how are we going to teach her English, will she like the cats, will she get along well with her sister, will her little sister play nice with her, and a new one of will we be home before her new cousin is born or not. And then there is the other side of the worry spectrum. Will she be able to stay at the baby house until we arrive, will she still be a happy child by the time we get there or has she been forced to wait for to long, will she forgive us for taking so long to get to her, will she be happy that we have come to make her a part of our family, will we get enough information about her to help us when we get home in regards to her medical needs, will we have any issues finding all of the supports that we may need for her when we get home, court - I'm always worried about court for some reason. And then there is the area that I try to stop my mind from wondering into, the whole what if she is transferred section. Will she go to a children's house or to an institution? How would she make out there, as one of the smallest, and a child who is already behind in some if not all aspect of her development, will someone take care of her, will someone love her, will someone protect her, what about when that someone isn't looking or isn't working? Will she fall prey to bully kids or horrid adults?

Not being with her breaks my heart. I always wondered how people could stand to adopt from Haiti. Being given a referral, knowing who your child is, being able to receive updates, but having to wait for months and years to be able to bring them home. It seemed to me that the knowing and waiting would make the process feel as if it was taking a thousand times longer then it was (although we are talking about Haiti here, so it may have actually been taking that long). Silly me always thought that going to an Eastern European country would save us from that torture, I guess that joke is on me. I flip through all of the photos that I have been blessed with and my heart swells as I dream or the day that we will finally meet, of the judge saying that we are her parents, of walking away on Gotcha Day together hand in hand to our new life together, of boarding a plane with her to bring her home, of meeting up with whoever is at the airport after our long absence from home, of walking into our home - her new and forever home for the first time, showing her her new own room - and the extra bed in her sister's room should she like to sleep there instead. Dreaming of what it will be like to have her understand that we are there for HER, of her little arms wrapped around my neck in a big hug, or what her voice will sound like, of her calling me Momma and one day having meaning behind that title, of seeing her understand that we are her forever family - no matter what, seeing her light up at the holidays as she learns our family's traditions and how much fun they can be.

It is about 2:30 in the morning right now. It would be about 9:30 am where Miss K is right now, really that's just a random thought. When ever I really look to see what time it is, I count to see what time it is where she is. Our little girl is always asking what her sister is doing through out the day, when we are going to go and get her, if she will be allowed to play too, why her sister is not home yet. Back to the original thought though, the current time. There has been a lot of talk lately about knowing what we know about the "injustice" in the world, but being able to sleep easy at night. I don't sleep easy. Perhaps it is the sheer volume of thoughts going through my head, or the subject of much of it I'm not really sure, but I don't sleep easy. I'm up until I can't stay awake any longer, then I go to bed - generally because I know that without any sleep I will be no good at being a Mom to my treasure the next day - falling asleep instantly, without dreams or with crazy wild dreams about what I have seen, what I know, what I dream about doing about all of this. Some times my dreams are much more exhausting then my time awake.

I think it is time now to wrap this post up. Before it gets any longer or takes a turn to one of the other, many thoughts running through my brain. I have NOT reread this, nor do I reread any of my post before I publish them (see, now you're all saying "aha!, I get it now"), so I do hope that I was able to let you into this one small section of my self, the part that revolves around our new daughter and other children in similar situations as she is right now. This is in NO way all of my thoughts about any of this, but it is my attempt at being honest and staying on one subject.

Blessings to all, you may need it if you just read through all of my ramblings;)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My New Blog

I have started a fundraising blog.

You can find it here I will list all of the different ways that someone can help us to bring our beautiful little girl home. For now this website is for our adoption of Miss K, but once she is home The Adoption Shop will stay open to help raise money to assist more children to find their forever families, as well as to assist us in future adoptions. I am hoping that I will have a cute little blog/shop going soon, full of give aways and one of a kind creations.

Currently we have 4 different ways that people can assist us in raising the funds still needed to bring Miss K home,
  1. Autumn's generous quilt give away
  2. Mary Kay Cosmetics - 50% of EVERYTHING purchased goes to our adoption fund
  3. I have 49 referrals for people to open ING direct savings account, each account opened gets us $25 plus bonuses depending on how many people open accounts (plus if you open an account with $100 or more, you get a $25 bonus as well)
  4. Affiliate program with the on line used book buyer that Julia wrote about on her blog recently.

The blog is a work in progress, and I will be cleaning it up over the next couple of days. I will also be adding some one of a kind creations. I have a family friend who has made some Christmas ornaments for me to sell, I am working on a couple of little craft decorative items, and I will be offering custom book marks as well. Really the hold up on these items is getting the pictures up, but they will be there soon.

If anyone would like to add our blog address to any of the list of places to shop PLEASE DO :-)

Thanks for taking a look, and letting me know what you think.

Oh my, what a dream

First let me introduce to you the stars of last night's dream

This is Sandra. She was born in 2006. I think that she is beautiful:)

She is available for adoption, and is healthy.

This is Sam, he was born in November 2009. He is such a sweetheart, and he JUST turned 1. He is healthy too:)

This is Blake. He was also born in November 2009, just a week or so older then Sam. He is healthy as well.

Won't Sam & Blake be adorable "twins"?

And this adorable little angel is Cliff. He was born in March 2010. He isn't even a year old yet!! He has stolen my heart, and I think of him often, so I wasn't surprised to find him in one of my dreams. He too is healthy and growing well.

All of these little ones are listed on RR, and they all have money in their grant funds to help their families get them home. If you are interested in adopting them or finding out more info, please go to the RR web site.

Now, on to the dream,

Last night I had a dream. The strange thing about this dream was the way it just kept going. I had a pretty restless sleep last night, lots of tiny waking up, stretching, rolling over, and falling back to sleep. And these little cuties continued in the dream for most of the night. I missed the whole trip to their country to adopt them, as the dream started as my little sister and I were getting off of the plane with them in Toronto where our husbands and children were waiting for us (including my lovely Miss K). Yep, you read that right. In my dream we had adopted all 4 of these little angels and my wonderful little sister came to help me bring them home while Mike was home with our GIRLS waiting for us to join them. Lucky for me it was a dream, and all of the children transitioned beautifully to our family and our home. We moved all of the girls into our bedroom, all of the boys into our 4 yr old daughter's room, and we moved into the office, and Miss K's room became the toy room. That all worked out perfectly as well. So, what a sweet dream. Of course living in Ontario, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that we would be allowed to bring all of these little ones home together, if at all. Sandra was born the same year as our daughter, which is a HUGE no no. The adoption of unrelated children at the same time is a HUGE no no. And adopting more then one child at a time internationally would be VERY difficult it possible.

All of that said there is something that really upsets me, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one or not. I understand the importance of blood relations, even when you have never meet the person you are related to. I really wonder how you can take a child from their orphanage, which has been their home, away from the other children in their groupa, who have been their siblings, and tell them that these strange people are now their parents, their family, and it is supposed to mean something. While at the same time saying that the children in their groupa - the ones they have grown up with, in some cases closer then siblings growing up in the same home with the same parents - are NOT their siblings and therefore can not be adopted together. How can you say that a NON blood relationship with their adoptive parents is important and makes them family, while at the same time saying that the children they do EVERYTHING with, who they are bonded to and love is not important because it is a NON blood relationship. Then to make it worse some of these kids have blood related siblings living elsewhere in their country, and the children do not even know about each other, have never met, and all of a sudden a child can NOT be adopted without their siblings. Of course there is small print to this, and sometimes they are able to legally separate siblings allowing each child a chance at a family of their own.

I don't want anyone to think that I am downplaying the importance of sibling and keeping them together. I do think that this is VERY IMPORTANT. What I am saying is that the relationship between the children in the groupa's should NOT be downplayed just because they are not blood related. We are talking about adoption here. Creating families through love, and not blood. I don't understand how you can be pro adoptive, and give so little thought/credit/belief in the relationship between two unrelated children who are growing up together as siblings because they do not call the same people "Mummy and Daddy", yet. Please tell me if I'm wrong, because I really wish I could understand this.