Tuesday, November 8, 2011

As your dreams unfold before your eyes....

You can't help but to smile, as your heart and life fill with sunshine, as you watch everything that you have ever dreamed of come to life right before your eye, in your own home.  All I ever wanted in life was to be a Mom, and I have been so blessed to have the chance.  After I became a Mom, it wasn't enough to have just one child, I wanted and needed more.  Not just for me, but for them to have each other. 

Last night K and I were going through old photos of the baby house where she lived for 5 + yrs of her life.  The director is the only person who she has ever shown any rememberance or reconginition of from her old life as an orphan.  Last night, she had NO idea who the woman was, she hasn't seen her in person in 12 months 5 weeks.  I'm not sure if I'm sad for her, or happy that her old life hasn't left terrible scars that give her nightmares - really it just is what it is.

Also last night I finally filled her frame that I bought her with photos.  When we were setting up her bedroom before we left for her country I purchased a frame that holds 8 photos to hang in her room.  I had intended to send, through email, a bunch of photos from in country to my sister and have her print them out and fill the frame so that it would be complete when we got home.  Well, that didn't happnen.  And now I'm glad that it didn't because there are much better photos in there now then there could have been if we had kept to our oringinal plan.  I did include a photo of her with her groupa on gotcha day in the frame.  She was not able to name anyone or locate anyone other then her sister and herself.  When I asked her if she used to live there she said "Yes :)".  When I asked her if she liked it there, she said "Yes :)"  When I asked her if she wants to be there or home, she said "No".  I said "No, what?  No home or no groupa?"  She said "NO.  I go with Emily."

Okay, so my Momma heart hurt for about 2 seconds that she didn't say that she wanted to be with me, BUT tears filled my eyes and my heart is overflowing that she knows that she belongs with her sister, and that she wants to be with her.  A HUGE motivator for our timing when we decided that it was time to adopt was so that Emily would grow up with a sibiling, a friend.  These girls are SO happy to have each other, and I am SO happy to have been able to give them the gift of each other.

There is NOTHING like having a sister!!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Six Months Home

Just 6 months ago, right now I was slowly climbing out of a limousine in my driveway, and walking into my home.  It was a very sur real experience, and one of the most memorable.  We were returning home after being on the other side of the world for over 6 weeks.  We walked out of our home a nervous, excited family of 3, and returned an exhausted, ecstatic family of 4 (and in no small way thanks to all of you!!!!!) :)

How quickly time flys by, how many moments we miss as we try to make it through each day.  SO very much has changed in this household since I started writing this blog 18 months ago, much of that since our return from Easter Europe with our new daughter.  I know that I've been terrible at updating since we got home.  Adjustment for all of us was different then I expected.  I do respond to emails though if anyone has any questions or wants to connect.

I thought in this post that I would first give you what everyone has been waiting for, a photo update.  Make sure to scroll down though and read through all of the great things that we have been doing, learning, and creating since I went MIA from the Internet.

Our last visit at the Orphanage

1/2 hour after breaking free, running and playing in the city :)

Our new family of 4 in front of the city zoo gates
Meeting her baby cousin (born the day that we first meet K)

At home without a hat or winter coat.  And with puddle boots full of water :)

Discovering the joys and love of a Grandad

Hanging out with Daddy

At the Confederation Bridge, PEI

Playing at the most awesome park I've EVER seen, in PEI

Sisters, forever

Ready for the pool

Standing on the ocean floor, Bay of Fundy NS

What's childhood if you never get to be a princess of Burger King ?

At the Sutton Fair

First time on a pony

With a butterfly on her leg at the Butterfly Conservatory (she didn't like this at all!!!)

Finding a new look

First time I gave her an ice cream of her own

Petting a sting ray at the Toronto Zoo, K's first Thanksgiving

Riding a pony at her cousin's birthday party

Loven the farm :)
Helping Aunti move into her new home

Ready for the Library Halloween Party

Ready to go Trick or Treating
Our little Miss K has come so far since we arrived home.  She is settling into family life so well.  She has attended countless family dinners, birthdays, holidays, celebrations, etc already.  She can easily name most of her cousins from photos when she just looks blankly at photos of children from her groupa and I have to tell her who they are.  She is completely toilet trained, again (as they put her in diapers when she entered the children's house).  She no longer must eat with a bib on, although we are working on not wearing so much of our meal on our face and not wiping our hands on our clothes (but who doesn't have to work on that with busy little ones).  She always tries to use her fork and spoon when eating now.  She understands at least 95% of what we are saying to her.  I understand at least 90% of what she is saying to me.  She had started out in a booster seat, but was quickly moved to a car seat when she couldn't stop herself from twisting herself all the way around to look out all of the windows while we were driving, but is now graduated back to a booster seat.  She no longer fake cries, or tests the rules at bed time.  She no longer gets out of bed and wanders around during the night.  She has stopped trying to eat my make up, and knows to stay out of that draw.  She knows where her draw is in the bathroom, and applies her own make up when the mood strikes.  She is now able to walk with us in the grocery store and doesn't have to ride in the cart, and is almost at the point where she doesn't have to hold my hand the entire time.  And so much more, but I just can't think of it right now.  She is doing amazing :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!  To all of you who played a part in helping us to bring our beautiful girl home.  With out you our lives would have a huge hole in it where she belonged, and she would still be sitting in a diaper in the special needs room at the children's house (provided that they didn't transfer her when they transferred Josiah..., oh too much to think about!!!) either waiting for permission from the other little girl in the groupa to play with something, or running around in a wild crazed way with the rest of the kids.  I know that so many of you love our daughter, think about her often, and have held her close to your hearts and held her in your prayers.  I hate that I have not been able to update here on a regular basis, and that many of you have been left to wonder and hope.  That was never my intention.  The reality of bringing this sweet girl home and into our lives was very different then I thought it would be, and our lives have just continued to grow in busyness since then.  Not an excuse, just honestly about who we are and where we are in our lives right now.  K has also had the experience of becoming a big sister to a baby recently, as we are now fostering a 3 month old baby with microcephaly.  Never a dull moment here, and apparently this Momma never plans on sleeping again.... ;)

I do hope to post again soon.  And it is my full intention to have all of our thank you cards/bookmarks etc our to everyone by early December at the latest.  Thank you for all of your patience and understanding.  Much love and many blessings to all of you ooxooxooxooxoo  :) 

Beamish Family Sept. 2011